- I wonder if you could start us off by just telling us like, how does change happen?

- There are so many things that we know we should do and then we keep not doing them.

It's amazing.

I mean, - I think that was astonishing to me how many things I know that I do not adopt - And that was a great checklist for the sorts of things that we know we should do better and, and we know even how to do them better and we still don't do them.

So it's a great question.

I don't think there are any easy answers, but first I wanna say that in studies around the world and across the lifespan, when you ask people what are your virtues, people will say that they have a good sense of humor.

They'll say that they're kind, they'll even say that they're forgiving before they will say they have self-control.

So self-control ranks like just about 24 out of 24 on a list of 24 virtues that have been studied around the world.

I feel so much better.

Don't you feel so - Much better?

I just feel like one of, I feel like I've sisterhood with all of humanity, the - Whole humanity, and across time.

So, you know, people say that they wish they had more self-control about sleep, about what they eat, about exercise, about, you know, all the things that you just mentioned.

And I, I think just to start there, which is to say that it is a perennial challenge for human beings to do things that are in their long term best interests as well as everybody that they care about, right?

Because when you're your best self, you're also your best self for others.

And, and yet we consistently fail to do so.

So let's start there.

And then of course, you know, the picture gets brighter, but I think we're - Starting with self forgiveness.

That's what we're, that's - Exactly, - That's you just set the table with like, - Okay.

Selfness self-awareness.