we begin with another unspeakable tragedy an 11 year old Burlington County girls death by Suicide now being made public by a grieving mom who desperately wants to prevent another child's Mental Health crisis Mount Holly school officials say Felicia LoAlbo-Melendez died two days after being found unresponsive in a bathroom stall at her Middle School according to melendez's family the 11 year old repeatedly notified the school she was being bullied but no action was taken the February 6 the incident occurred just days before 14 year old Central Regional High School student Adriana cush died by Suicide cush was also viciously bullied by classmates raising familiar questions about what's driving this alarming Nationwide rise in teen suicide and just how much responsibility should rest with schools to prevent it for more I'm joined by Dr Stephanie Marcelo Chief psychologist for the Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care Stephanie I want to get your thoughts on the fact that throughout a lot of these incidents that we're seeing now with young teens bullying seems to be a factor what does that say to you says to me that we really need to do a lot more in the schools and just in the communities to really stop bullying on the spot and how adults respond and how much we know about how to handle bullying and responding quickly and consistently um really sends a powerful message about it not being acceptable um I think it says to me that more education needs to happen and more support of you know teachers who do a really challenging job and the education system and parents and caregivers too yeah we have I mean this most recent incident tragic incident of an 11 year old in Mount Holly Burlington County who died by Suicide she herself had emailed School administration officials about the bullying we know in Perth Amboy there's been a lot of talk from parents and and students about the fact that they've notified the school that bullying goes on with the incident with Adriana cush bullying was involved what's a parent to do if they feel like they're taking all the correct actions and they're either being met with no response from a school or hesitation or maybe even resistance yeah I mean I think that that's part of the challenge right because parents can do a lot in preventive bullying and helping to protect their kids but they really can't do it alone and I think having these safe School communities and bringing the community together to keep bullying and prevention at school active and focused is really powerful um but again like we can't do it alone and I think parents can help talking to their children um how they volunteer at the school maybe working to help School Improvement events um connection between parent teachers relationship and you know but we really need schools to kind of step on board and we also need I think legislation from the state to really have these bullying prevention and intervention programs already established to create safe communities and safe environments for our youth yeah well we know of course suicide is is a very layered um and and complex issue and bullying isn't the only Factor what are some of the signs that you tell not just family but loved ones friends to look for in someone who might be exhibiting some of these behaviors so some of the things that you might start to notice in kids is they're spending more time or less time online so they're constantly like looking down at their phones or suddenly they don't want to talk to their phones I always say that one of the biggest things with kids is or anybody really is any change from their normal behavior so a kid who typically acts One Way suddenly you know isn't acting that way or they're hanging out maybe with different people or they're spending more time alone um or they're you're even hearing sometimes more like negative comments from them about themselves and so really trying to kind of talk with our kids have these conversations before you know things are actually happening and how do you have those conversations I mean when you have a teenager who doesn't necessarily want to talk to you about some of this how do you approach that I think it starts when the kids are young really having I think first it starts with parents education on you know how letting our kids know that um we shouldn't be treated this way um teaching our own kids how to treat everybody with respect um I think it talk talks with having uncomfortable conversations at home um letting you know educating our kids what they can do if a bully is saying something to them how they tell them walk away staying calm in a clear voice going to a trusted adult find an adult and trying to stop that bullying on the spot um talk to adult that they trust so maybe if it isn't their parents there's someone else in their life that they feel safe that they can talk to maybe it's an older cousin or you know a grandparent or an aunt or the guidance counselor and really educating our kids to stay away from places where the bullyings happen stay near adults and other kids and then really you know cyber bullying is a whole other topic but working with our kids so that um they know what's acceptable and not acceptable behavior and I think the more or that schools can do really to go in some ways like back to laying the foundations so building these safe School environments by letting kids know here's you know here are the what's expected and here's the consequences if that doesn't happen here's the policy and then really actually taking that policy and following through with it is really pretty powerful and and I just also want to point out that what you said that you know um a child who dies by Suicide and anybody who dies by Suicide it is really multi-layered and complicated and sometimes we look for one kind of activating event that happened and there are things that sort of take somebody who's very vulnerable and has them kind of move and have them get to that point where they're considering suicide or they're or they do take their life um but that it really is a really complicated um because humans are complicated what goes into a person getting to that point well given just how complex it is what's missing from this conversation about how to help the youth adolescents teenagers who are clearly in crisis I don't have to give you this the statistics you know them but this most recent case with this 11 year old or at least the most recent to be made public with this 11 year old from Burlington County I mean you're just a baby at 11. what's missing from this conversation about how we can combat this I think there's federal laws that are missing I think there is training and support for the teachers who are just doing so much um so much can be done I think prevention is my thing so um we don't I I don't think you know universally we do enough prevention at school to really build these physical and emotional safety for these kids I don't I think that there isn't enough funding and support to have enough kind of guidance counselors and Training School staff and students to help sustain like bullying prevention efforts over time so maybe there's a training here a training here but not really getting at how do we address the climate and the culture of a school and a community um so bullying curriculum Wellness you know really like I believe that we should have wellness and mental health um education in our curriculum for students as well as not just staff training but like ongoing support like discussion about topics how do you report bullying what's everybody's role in it how do we bring in evidence-based programs and curriculum and really make it a part of the culture um and I think there needs to be a lot more focused on prevention and also how do you respond to bullying how do you support the kids who are having this bullying Behavior because we also want to support those youth too Dr Stephanie Marcelo Chief psychologist with Rutgers ubhc, thank you so much for your Insight on this